All in All

Real life Marfa and fictional Santa's Little Helper.

Considering Marfa's grandparents were probably not alive when Santa's Little Helper was first created, one can only assume there was a selective breeding programme going on to create her as a living counterpart.

Now all we need is a real life version of the Simpsons to be made and we can offer her up for casting (assuming they will CGI on the relevant genitalia)

Mac answered a little questionnaire thing on his blog and almost demanded a response so as I'm in a giving mood, here goes:

1. Do you still have tonsils? Yes
2. Would you bungee jump? Yes, definitely
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? It would involve being my own boss and not needing to actually earn money to survive. If money were no object I'd like to own a little shop where I could decide whether or not the customer deserved my goods
4. How many tattoos do you have? None, I once considered getting one but that desire has long gone, unless I suddenly develop a mid-life crisis.
5. Your favorite fictional animal? I'm drawn to Santa's Little Helper in the Simpsons, not least because of his uncanny resemblance to Marfa
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? Series 1-4 of Frasier (it's an ensemble piece, does that count?)
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? Depends on the circumstances, but pretty good on the whole
8. Any Addictions? Comics and Kit Kats
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? The Guardian newspaper, and various websites of a lunchtime.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? Carnival, I despise the Circus.
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? I seem to recall wanting to be an actor until I realised I was crap in school plays, then I went backstage and ran the costume department until 18 and I had a vague desire to maybe do that for films and theatre until I decided that (a) it was a bit gay, and (b) I had no idea how to get into it
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? Volver (also winner of the award for only film I've seen this year that I haven't seen before)
13. Favorite alcoholic drink? Beer or a fine wine
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Stop the radio alarm from simultaneously beeping whilst the news is on, then if he's there, cuddle Mac for 10 minutes
15. Siblings? 2 brothers
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? No, but I may have to if I can't stop wondering what happened to Question 16
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? Mind control
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? Doesn't everyone?
20. Have you ever gone camping? I've pitched a tent at a music festival a couple of times but I'm not sure this is classed as proper camping
21. Gas prices! First thought? Gas as in petrol for the car or Gas as in central heating and the hob on the oven? I did notice when I filled the car on Saturday that petrol prices have gone down, so that's good news
22. Your favorite cartoon character? Daffy Duck, I love the fact he's quite immoral
23. What was your first car? A green Vauxhall Viva with vinyl seats that were hell to sit on in summer
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? No
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? The Simpsons.
26. Do you go to church? Weddings, Christenings and Funerals only
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Frida from Abba
28. What errand/chore do you despise? washing the car
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Stop beeping!
30. Last time you puked from drinking? This really isn't the sort of thing I make a habit of remembering, you know?
31. What is your heritage? English through and through
32. Favorite flower? Lily
33. Disney or Warner Bros? Warner Bros. Again, it's the immorality of the characters, and they weren't afraid to dress in drag - have you ever seen Mickey Mouse in drag? Bugs Bunny was prepared to do a whole Carmen Miranda impression!
34. What is your best childhood memory? I remember going to bed one Christmas Eve when I was somewhere between 5 and 10 and being woken up by my parents to be shown that it was snowing because they knew how magical that was for a young kid. Over the years I've had to question whether it was actually Christmas Eve or just a day or two before but I want to remember it as Christmas Eve. Asking my parents was no use because they didn't remember it at all but that's okay, it's my special memory not theirs
35. Your favorite potato chip? I haven't had a crisp (or potato chip) this year and I don't want to think about them in case I fall off the wagon
36. What is your favorite candy? Kit Kat, special edition flavours especially
37. Do you burn or tan? Burn.
38. Astrological sign? A disbelieving Gemini. It is all just rubbish, though, isn't it?
39. Do you own a gun? Are you mad?
40. What do you think of hot dogs? I try not to think of them as I eat them because regardless of how nice they are in the right circumstances (at a Fair, or festival etc), it's better not to think about what's in them because I doubt there's more than 20% meat and that hasn't come from a decent cut of the pig

During an otherwise unproductive lunchbreak, I hit upon the wonderful site http://www.everyhit.com/, which as the name suggests lists every UK top 40 single or album release from 1956 onwards, subject to your criteria. After playing with it for a bit, I decided to pick a year at random and see what albums I bought, and any other points of interest. (I say albums because I’ve never really been a single person, although I remember religiously sitting with my finger poised over the pause button every Sunday night recording any single that took my fancy. Home taping kills, kids, just remember that!)

Anyway. I have picked 1983, for no better reason than this was the year I left school and started earning more money to buy more and more records. What were my tastes like?

Joe Jackson - Night and Day. Now, technically I didn’t buy this in 1983 because I only have it on CD and didn’t get my first CD player until around 1990, but I’ll include it here for the sake of things. I love this album, and Joe Jackson, and the eventual follow-up (Night and Day II, released in 2000) is in my all time top 10.

Aztec Camera – High Land Hard Rain. I’ll be honest and say once again that I can’t guarantee that this was bought in 1983, but I’ve waxed lyrical before about my love for Roddy Frame and it all started here.

Imagination – Nightdubbing. Now I reckon that this, along with the Human League’s Love and Dancing, was one of the first ever re-mix albums, which must say something. I used to love Imagination, and their first two albums were played to death. Amazingly, this remix album got to Number 9, which is pretty good considering what it was (and in fairness too, I seem to recall it was pretty crappy)

Agnetha Faltskog – Wrap Your Arms Around Me. Definitely not bought at the time, but now in my collection due to my Abba completist. Probably the best of her solo albums but that’s really not saying anything.

Donna Summer – She Works Hard For the Money. Includes the dreadful duet with Musical Youth. Frankly nothing she did after about 1980 (ie the post-Moroder stuff) was any good, but this is still better than the Cats Without Claws follow-up. I stopped buying her after this so I can’t comment on later albums.

Culture Club – Colour By Numbers. Whatever else you say about Boy George, this was their moment of perfect pop. I liked it so much I also bought 'Victims' as a 12" single. As a 12" single it was a bit of a waste as it wasn't extended or anything, but it did have an extra track called 'Colour By Numbers' which wasn't on the album and was (if I recall albeit with possible rose coloured glasses) a rather nice little ballad.

Lionel Ritchie – Can’t Slow Down. It was like ‘Thriller’, everybody bought this. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it (but ‘Hello’ is a bit of a guilty pleasure, and I could go on about the video for hours)

Imagination – Scandolous. The end of the line for them, I think the public got a bit bored of them and their risqué dress sense. Not a good album to boot, but they really went downhill fast because although this only came out a few months after Nightdubbing, it only reached Number 25, which is quite a shock seeing as it was a real album instead of a remix one.

U2 – Live Under A Blood Red Sky. I think the Tube televised part of it, that’s why I felt the need to buy it. 22 years later I saw them live in a huge stadium and although I have not real fault with the 2005 concert, I can't help wishing I'd seen this smaller one instead.

So, 1983. An important year in some ways for me, but not necessarily the best for my musical tastes. Maybe one day I'll pick a later year to compare and contrast how tastes change.

BTW, also worth noting in 1983, the Kids from Fame released no less than three albums! Talk about milking it for all it was worth.