All in All

As an ardent DC Comics reader, I couldn't not pass comment on the arrival of a new Batwoman.

Personally, I'm not much of a Batfan so I have little interest in this in general, but I will be watching with interest the attention and reviews she gets because they have decide that she is to be Kathy Kane, "lesbian socialite by night and a crime fighter by later in the night"

Lesbian. That will get all the fanboys going.

She may not have the handbag which the original 50s/60s kathy Kane Batwoman had, but I notice they still have given her high heels, which I'm sure are totally practical when running after criminals, leaping across the roof tops, and kicking someone where it hurts. Who said comics were sexist?

Read all about it here

http://www.dccomics.com/news/?nw=5866

Now I love America and I especially love my American friends, but you do have to wonder about the place at times. It was bad enough that despite the economy not being in good shape, and the war in Iraq being a questionable disaster, one of the main topics that 2004's presidential election was the horror of gay marriages. That's nothing compared to this http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,1782423,00.html

A couple are being fined for living in a town whilst having children out of wedlock? I just don't believe this. Now I know that this isn't indicative of the US as a whole and is surely an anomoly which you are bound to find in such a large country, but one of these days all of these little things will add up and if you put them together, it really is a bit scary.

POSTSCRIPT: What the online article fails to do is publish the photo of the couple which is in the main newspaper. Do you think all this fuss could also have anything to do with them being a mixed race couple?

My dear friend Keith Boadwee was recently interviewed on Best Gay Blogs about his blog. Whilst initially disappointed to see neither mine nor Mac's blog listed on his Top 5 favourite blogs, I feel this is only fair as I barely blog once a week and Mac has barely had the time this year to blog more than once a month.

I am now on a mission to blog more often, to impart humour and wisdom, and of course music and comic reviews, in the hope to work my way up onto Boadwee's top 5.

Keep watching Keith, soon you'll possibly be addicted (and I am looking out for Britpop bathroom accessories to bribe you with when you come over in July too)

Now the hurly-burly is done, and the general fuss has died down, I feel the time has come to ask just what is the purpose of Eurovision these days?

As a youngster in the early 70s the purpose seemed to be a coming together of the whole of (small) Europe to select the best song. These would generally be sung by a known artist such as Cliff Richard or Olivia Newton-John and the prize would effectively be a minor hit for that artist in at least their own country and any other that speaks the same language. They were serious songs, dull but respectable singers and voted for by an anonymous panel of “experts”. With the obvious exception of Abba, it was hardly a springboard for people to get themselves known across Europe and beyond, and no-one did nor expected to.

By the mid 70’s, at least in this country, things had changed in that instead of unknown songwriters writing for a known artist, and the public selecting the final song, it became unknown songwriters writing for unknown artists and the public voting for song and artist. Otherwise things remained largely the same, although a lot of people wondered when exactly Israel became part of Europe.

In the 80’s it seemed to take on a bit more glamour and to be even vaguely successful, the acts were expected to do a bit more than just stand there. Dance routines took off, one could even say they became obligatory for unoriginal UK entries. Bucks Fizz went so far as to rip the girls' skirts off (guaranteed winner!) The music however, remained much the same – lightweight pop, dull ballads, and the occasional country doing something “traditional” with an odd looking instrument. Still voted for by an unseen panel of experts in each country.

By the 90s it had started to become a joke in the eyes of this country, so no decent singers or songwriters even bothered to come forward. We hadn’t won in years (although name me an entrant that deserved to be best song? Not Samantha Janus, surely?), strategic voting along national lines was becoming more apparent (Greeks vote for Cypriots and vice versa, Norway ignores Sweden and vice versa, France ignores Britain and vice versa, etc), and performances becoming more spectacular with costumes, dancers, pyrotechnics a standard (not the song, mind, just the performance). By the end of the 90s telephone voting had been introduced so you could argue that the vox populi are casting the vote for a truly great song that might be a springboard for someone. Instead it seemed to allow for the winners and losers to be selected even more on nothing better than national popularity and humour. We won in 1997, just days after Tony Blair’s New Labour swept into power after 18 years of Conservative anti-Europe rhetoric. Coincidence? I doubt it, the song wasn’t THAT great. The next year, Israel entered a glamorous transsexual singing a pumping disco song about being a Diva. Of course it swept to victory, especially as Eurovision has a strong gay following. The year Britain joined the invasion of Iraq, we scored a humiliating Nul Points, definitely an anti-war statement although in fairness the song and performance was dreadful. And in the meantime, “Europe” has expanded to 30-odd countries and so all the Baltic States vote for each other guaranteeing that the top 10 finalists will have at least 6 former Soviet Union countries, and the winner will never be a country with very few friends (ie us to be honest). In the meantime the performances have been getting grander and perhaps more ridiculous, which in turn makes them more likely to win. What could beat a transsexual? May I present Finnish Death Metal band Lordi above, this year’s victors! Most likely simply because of their over the top stage persona and performance as opposed to the quality of their song of course.

So what of the future? Britain moans at not being taken serious anymore (not that anyone could call this year’s song serious but that’s another matter), but do we have the wrong idea entirely? If it was ever serious its now a bit of fun and we should accept that. The days of being genuinely thrilled to see Telex representing Belgium are long gone so let’s not talk about persuading whoever the big band of the moment to represent us, we’d have more success with the Cheeky Girls or the Teletubbies.

But what would Terry Wogan make of that?

Now I appreciate that this is not far removed from an earlier blog about people phoning or texting during a gig, but I was sufficiently wound up last night at Tapes N Tapes that I feel this deserves it's own place in the 'If I ruled the world' chart.

Incessant chatting through a gig. Why do people do it? More importantly, why don't they stop and think that if they have to shout for their friend to hear them, everyone around them can hear too and actually, we didn't pay ticket money to be forced to hear about what happened to them at work today. I mean, there were a couple of little girls next to us last night (and I'm being purposely patronising there because they had the immaturity of schoolgirls after all) and one spent the entire gig with her back to the band so she could chat to her mate. Why did she even bother going? And before anyone says that why didn't we move, unfortunately it was moving away from another obnoxious couple that left us there in the first place. Also, if you ever turn around and ask people like this to shut up, they have a go at you as it you are in the wrong.

Mac tells me that it isn't like this in Glasgow when he see's a band there and I do wonder if it's a London thing to an extent. On any given day there are a good dozen shows on somewhere in London, and I think people are seeing going to a gig as more of a social thing like going to a pub, as opposed to actually going as a serious muso type.

Maybe I am becoming more and more of a grumpy old man but is it too much to ask that people keep quite when the band's playing?

Well, that was a week of going from the sublime to the ridiculous on the gig front.

On thursday, Mac came down from Glasgow to join me at London's greatest new venue, the Luminaire to see Norwegian popsters, Datarock. Needless to say it was a fantastic evening. I doubt Datarock will ever win any prizes but so what? How can you not love a group who will sing songs with titles such as 'I used to dance with my daddy', 'computer camp love' and 'night flight to uranus'. Are they gay with song titles like this? I don't know and I don't care. They even ended the show by playing 'I've had the time of my life' by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes and with everyone singing at the top of their voices I can only imagine this is what one of those School Disco clubs are like.

The next day we went to Blackpool to see Radiohead. Utterly fantastic. Great venue, great position within the venue, great audience, great show.

Blackpool however, was even more seedy and rundown than I ever imagined. And if anyone wants a hotel reservation, the Grand Metropole, whilst not that bad, isn't anything like it's picture on the website.