All in All

Well, yesterday there was a failed attempt to bomb more of the Underground. More disruption on the transport system. More admirable praise of Londoners carrying on regardless with that Blitz-like stiff upper lip. More conspiracy theories. No, we're not afraid, so there.

But is that really true? Yes, I haven't stopped using the Tube and will carry on even though I could switch to the overground. But that doesn't mean to say that I'm not checking out every person in the carriage in case they could be a bomber, hating myself for scrutinising men of Asian descent carrying bags with more suspicion than others, feeling a great sense of relief whenever we get into a station and the doors open, especially the station of my destination.

Truth be told, actually I am afraid. Afraid for me, and for eveyone I know and care about. I'll carry on as normal, but that won't stop me being afraid because there's no end in sight, and I don't think you can say that there will ever be one. The four would-be bombers escaped yesterday (what? No-one tried to stop them? See, we are afraid) so they are still out there, and how many more are hiding in the wings? Someone has been shot dead at Stockwell (which is too close to my home for my liking). Is he one of the four, or was he part of wave 3?

I'm sorry, I should be more "British" and "not be afraid", but it's starting to get to me.